Astrology's Upcoming Revolution
Pluto's transit through Aquarius will intensify accountability within internet astro culture and advance the art in surprising new ways.
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IN A RECENT POST, Bad Astrology is Everywhere, I detailed the shortcomings of what happens when the world’s second oldest profession (astrology) becomes infected by digital culture. As it exists now, the internet is a haywire expression of the collective’s Id—with its wellspring of con, grift, and unhinged fads. Astrology suffers from this cacophony. The woes of too much connectivity outweigh the benefits. Consider Trump’s re-election, the consequence of online vacuity, and the vestigial lore of his TV persona. As a footnote to the abovementioned post, I wrote, “People now have never been stupider.”
I also posited this about the increase in astrological hustles:
I recently discussed this dilemma with another astrologer, and she told me, “Well, people tend to be drawn to astrologers online who are as disconnected from reality as they are.”
To her point, I agreed. But added that the situation would only mutate until something came along to explode the strange attractor principle. Which, of course, got me thinking about Pluto’s upcoming long haul through Aquarius.
Different schools of thought exist regarding which sign and planet are associated with astrology. In traditional astrology, Mercury ‘rules’ astrologers. In modern astrology, Uranus is associated with astrologers. I can roll with that. The sign Aquarius, supposedly, is the most fitting Zodiacal catchall for astrology and astrologers. And again, if we’re trying to generalize, I can see how that works. Astrology, as an art that uses scientific data, fits nicely on the Leo (artist) Aquarius (scientist) vector.
This means that Pluto’s ongoing transit through Aquarius will dismantle the key functions of those two signs. Pluto intensifies revelation, so what is hidden beneath the rocks or floorboards is exposed, reassessed, and either remade or scrapped. There is also an amplification of power with Pluto transits. Therefore, with the 25-year Aquarian transit, I believe astrology will begin to assert more influence in the cultural imagination, but only after undergoing ethical purging.
Reassessment and Pluto were on my mind yesterday when I encountered a recent astrology newsletter with the headline: The Virgo Eclipse: Avoid March 14, 2025, Like the Plague…After scanning that, I recoiled from my browser and continued to scroll—but then I changed my mind and decided to stop and parse the ‘information’ the post was ‘offering.’
As is standard with ‘catastrophic’ click-bait astrology (which guarantees engagement and virality), the post was a mixture of low-grade effort and hyperbole. When I saw the chart that accompanied the advice being dispensed, I knew I’d officially fallen—and wouldn’t be getting back up for a spell.
So, OK. Like, what the fuck is happening here?
This isn’t a horoscope; it’s a Rorschach of mental illness. I rarely discuss asteroids (and my disregard for them) when compiling a birth chart, but strap yourself in, as I’m going to jump into that sinkhole now.